Thursday, February 4, 2016

No more guilt!

Don't feel guilty for carving out workout time for yourself, Battlemoms.   We spend most of our time making life convenient for others and/or driving the kids to all their activities.  When it comes time for us to get what we need, it takes an act of Congress to make it happen.  Not to mention that we are fucking exhausted, so it's easy to let it slide.

You deserve your personal time, Battlemom, because you are doing the most important job that ever existed.  I worked full time for many years and the guilt I put on myself was just as intense as any guilt trip someone else could wish upon me.  In the end, however, I know that I was a better mother when I was able to get the time I needed to blow off steam while I became physically and mentally stronger.   I also met new people with whom I had many common interests and became lifelong friends.

My kids were trained from a very young age to be with a sitter.  Sitters are nice and do things that mommy doesn't always feel like doing because they are paid to be FUN. Sometimes the boys were actually disappointed when the answer to, "Who is coming tonight, Mommy?" was "ME."  This made me so happy because that meant they were developing into well adjusted, social kids who always knew I was coming back.  Separation anxiety on the first day of school was not an issue and I was proud to think I had inadvertently helped them gain an important skill while I got me some killer guns.

You may be thinking to yourself, "I can't do that" or "How can I do that?"  Don't worry, I'm going to tell you what you need to do, and yes, you can do that and not feel guilty.  

Laying the ground work for your path to happiness takes time and effort, but if you are proactive and persistent you can get it done.

First things first:  Figure out what you love to do.  Swim, Climb, Bike, Martial Arts, Boxing, Personal Trainer, Yoga, Spin, Run, Hike, Pilates -- It doesn't matter, but figure it out. 
  • Find a time that works for you and your schedule at least 3 times a week.  Carve out that time as yours and only yours - no excuses.
  • Find reliable help.  Get dad on board to help you accomplish your goal.  If that doesn't or can't work, get yourself a good sitter that you trust to watch your kids for 2 hours, so you don't have to rush.  You need time to get there, workout, shower and get home safely.   Bonus points if you have a gym that has good reasonably priced daycare.  Your kids can play with other kids and gain some social skills and peer modeling skills while you get your beach body. 
  • If the cost is holding you back, figure out what you can do without, so you can pay a sitter.  I figured out all the little things that I was buying and didn't really need, and cut them out.  Honestly, cutting a few Starbucks coffees each week and a Happy Hour was enough to give me what I needed.  Be creative and honest with yourself.  
  • Guard that time jealously and don't let anyone or anything pull you away from it.  The exceptions being sick kids, emergencies, holidays, birthdays, etc. You get where I am going with this.  When this happens, you will go to plan B, which is the home workout.
  • DON'T let other moms try to make you feel guilty.  This is unacceptable and not allowed. They are jealous and wish they had the balls to do what you are doing.
Prior to moving to an athletic city, I would occasionally run across the mom who raised an eyebrow at me for training as often as I did.  It didn't matter that I was working towards a goal and my kids loved having our babysitters.  These are the same moms who refused or were too lazy to find sitters, but would complain about how much they worked without a break.  I call bullshit on that, ladies. These are the same women who will have no identity when their kids fly the coop.  But not you, you're a Battlemom.

Show your kids what a strong, confident, independent woman looks like.  Your sons will respect the shit out of you and your daughters will want to be like you.  Isn't that amazing?  


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