"You
must learn to live in the present, not in the future or the past. Zen teaches
that life must be seized at the moment. By living in the present you are in
full contact with yourself and your environment, your energy is not dissipated
and is always available. In the present there are no regrets as there are in
the past. By thinking of the future, you dilute the present. The time to live
is now." Joe
Hyams, from Zen in the Martial Arts
Battlemom was born in a dojo about 10 years ago, although
back then they lovingly called me Beast.
My son really gets the credit for this amazing alter ego that I have
been lucky enough to coin. After all, he
was practically born on the mat at Balanced Martial Arts in Eastchester, New
York, as were all 3 of my children.
Like many martial arts movies, Battlemom’s beginning had a
dramatic beginning only mine was not tragic.
Nearly 15 years ago, I was trapped on a New York City
subway car by a very large doped up homeless man. I had been reading and lost track of the fact
that I was alone on the car with this guy.
First mistake. Be aware of your surroundings at all time. The train was traveling through an unsavory
part of town and I knew that if I exited my chances were worse for escaping the
eminent attack. So, I remained still and
waited for an opening to run by him and get to the next car. I did, but he followed me, and I quickly
recruited the help of a very nice person who shielded me from the danger. I made it home safely that time. I was not going to let that happen again, but
I didn’t know how.
“One of the first lessons one learns in the dojo is that the mind is a
powerful factor in everything you do, including those exercises that seem to
require a maximum of physical strength.” - Joe
Hyams, from Zen in the Martial Arts
Martial arts became a very important part of my life when
my husband began attending classes and very generously invited me to pursue the
craft with him. It became the thing we
did, “our thing.” Over the years its
meaning and place in my world has evolved from merely a way to exercise to a
way of life, a passion and a mission.
Not only did I become physically fit, but it helped me develop the
ability to be mentally and emotionally centered and focused in a variety of
life situations, not just in class.
“Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is
Enlightenment.” - Lao Tzu
Focus and fitness are required when you are training to
defend yourself for a real-life threat.
Learning to defend yourself in a real-life threatening situation is not
only important, but empowering for women, especially for a woman who is small
in stature like myself. Thanks to the
rigorous training I received from the highly skilled instructors who have
earned multiple black belts in a variety of systems, I possess skills and
confidence that are priceless. I am
highly confident that I can defend myself against almost any attack by an
attacker of any size in most situations.
It’s not about winning. It’s about staying safe.
"Like this cup," the master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you
Zen unless you first empty your cup?" - Japanese master
Nan-in
This is not the path I thought I had started on all those
years ago, but I have been led to this place simply by having an open mind and
allowing the path lead me where I needed to be;
closer to my mission. Now that I
am here in this place and can look back at what I have accomplished, I truly
believe that it is necessary for women to study the martial arts and the art of
self-defense.
“To be patient is to have the capacity of calm
endurance. To give yourself time is to actively work toward a goal without
setting a limit on how long you will work.” - Grandmaster Bong Soo
Han: Master of Hapkido and Zen
There are certain classical and popular styles that are
beautiful and practical for physical fitness training and study, however I am
advocating the study of arts that teach you how to actually defend yourself in
a real-world attack. I am talking
about well-rounded extensive training in the art of fighting and
self-defense. I gravitate towards
Jujitsu, Kempo (American and Shaolin), Krav Maga, Aikido, Muay Thai, and Mixed
Martial Arts dojos that pull the best skills from multiple systems because they
are able to highlight a technique from a variety of angles and offer ways to
end or neutralize an attack both violently and passively. There may be a time when you just need to
stop a friend with an effective joint lock or defend your life with a crushing
blow to the head. It’s important to
understand the threat to understand how to react or not react.
“Do
not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created
another pattern and trapped yourself there.” ― Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do
If you are unfortunate enough to be in a situation where
you need to defend yourself, you will know why I advocate this approach.
Maybe you can perform
beautiful katas or forms, but do you really know what that means and how it
translates into something practical?
Maybe you can kick above your
head, and that’s a really pretty skill, but what will you do if someone grabs
you and knocks you down? I know what I’d
do.
Maybe somebody attacks you
from behind, grabs your hair or your wrist and tries to drag you to another
location. Would you know what to
do? I know what I’d do.
Maybe somebody follows you to
your car at night in the parking lot and tries to attack you. Do you know what you’d do? I know what I’d do.
Well rounded practical training will teach you multiple
aspects of many different classical and sport systems, so that you can start to
feel comfortable doing something, anything when you absolutely have to protect
your well-being. Having the skills to react
appropriately in a threatening situation and the confidence to know that
you could defend against that threat should be a high priority for every
woman. In some cases, a confident
demeanor can actually discourage a would-be attacker.
“Study strategy over
the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior. Today is victory over yourself
of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.” - Miyamoto Musashi from The
Book of Five Rings
Fast forward more than 10 years after my scary experience,
the requisite skills for adequately defending myself embedded in the fiber of
my being. I was again walking on the
streets of New York when yet another homeless man appeared and began to get
very close. I kept my stride confident
and readied my body for an offensive or defensive move as the situation
dictated. There are some scenarios when
it is absolutely necessary to strike first in order to protect your
well-being. I went so far as to plan an offensive
move that would be quick and leave him on the ground not knowing what
happened. I chose, however, the most
peaceful approach which was to look at him with a glare that was undeniably
intolerant of his presence. He looked at
me with what I think was fear and immediately said, “I’m going to leave
now.” I responded, “That’s a very good
idea.” He then ran away from me and I
was safe.
Without the right mental and physical training you could needlessly
become a helpless victim. Run, don't
walk to the nearest dojo and begin your journey to a more confident and healthy
you.
“You
must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it
becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When
you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can
crash. Become like water my friend.” – Bruce Lee
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| Training at Boulder Karate in Boulder, CO |
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| Training at Balanced Martial Arts in Eastchester, NY |
