Martial Arts and Self Defense

"You must learn to live in the present, not in the future or the past. Zen teaches that life must be seized at the moment. By living in the present you are in full contact with yourself and your environment, your energy is not dissipated and is always available. In the present there are no regrets as there are in the past. By thinking of the future, you dilute the present. The time to live is now."  Joe Hyams, from Zen in the Martial Arts

Battlemom was born in a dojo about 10 years ago, although back then they lovingly called me Beast.  My son really gets the credit for this amazing alter ego that I have been lucky enough to coin.  After all, he was practically born on the mat at Balanced Martial Arts in Eastchester, New York, as were all 3 of my children.  

Like many martial arts movies, Battlemom’s beginning had a dramatic beginning only mine was not tragic.

Nearly 15 years ago, I was trapped on a New York City subway car by a very large doped up homeless man.  I had been reading and lost track of the fact that I was alone on the car with this guy.   First mistake.  Be aware of your surroundings at all time.  The train was traveling through an unsavory part of town and I knew that if I exited my chances were worse for escaping the eminent attack.  So, I remained still and waited for an opening to run by him and get to the next car.  I did, but he followed me, and I quickly recruited the help of a very nice person who shielded me from the danger.  I made it home safely that time.  I was not going to let that happen again, but I didn’t know how. 

“One of the first lessons one learns in the dojo is that the mind is a powerful factor in everything you do, including those exercises that seem to require a maximum of physical strength.” - Joe Hyams, from Zen in the Martial Arts

Martial arts became a very important part of my life when my husband began attending classes and very generously invited me to pursue the craft with him.  It became the thing we did, “our thing.”  Over the years its meaning and place in my world has evolved from merely a way to exercise to a way of life, a passion and a mission.   Not only did I become physically fit, but it helped me develop the ability to be mentally and emotionally centered and focused in a variety of life situations, not just in class. 

“Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is Enlightenment.” - Lao Tzu

Focus and fitness are required when you are training to defend yourself for a real-life threat.  Learning to defend yourself in a real-life threatening situation is not only important, but empowering for women, especially for a woman who is small in stature like myself.  Thanks to the rigorous training I received from the highly skilled instructors who have earned multiple black belts in a variety of systems, I possess skills and confidence that are priceless.  I am highly confident that I can defend myself against almost any attack by an attacker of any size in most situations.   It’s not about winning. It’s about staying safe.  

 "Like this cup," the master said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?" - Japanese master Nan-in 

This is not the path I thought I had started on all those years ago, but I have been led to this place simply by having an open mind and allowing the path lead me where I needed to be;  closer to my mission.   Now that I am here in this place and can look back at what I have accomplished, I truly believe that it is necessary for women to study the martial arts and the art of self-defense. 

“To be patient is to have the capacity of calm endurance. To give yourself time is to actively work toward a goal without setting a limit on how long you will work.” - Grandmaster Bong Soo Han: Master of Hapkido and Zen

There are certain classical and popular styles that are beautiful and practical for physical fitness training and study, however I am advocating the study of arts that teach you how to actually defend yourself in a real-world attack.    I am talking about well-rounded extensive training in the art of fighting and self-defense.   I gravitate towards Jujitsu, Kempo (American and Shaolin), Krav Maga, Aikido, Muay Thai, and Mixed Martial Arts dojos that pull the best skills from multiple systems because they are able to highlight a technique from a variety of angles and offer ways to end or neutralize an attack both violently and passively.  There may be a time when you just need to stop a friend with an effective joint lock or defend your life with a crushing blow to the head.  It’s important to understand the threat to understand how to react or not react.

“Do not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created another pattern and trapped yourself there.”  ― Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do

If you are unfortunate enough to be in a situation where you need to defend yourself, you will know why I advocate this approach. 

Maybe you can perform beautiful katas or forms, but do you really know what that means and how it translates into something practical? 

Maybe you can kick above your head, and that’s a really pretty skill, but what will you do if someone grabs you and knocks you down?  I know what I’d do. 

Maybe somebody attacks you from behind, grabs your hair or your wrist and tries to drag you to another location.   Would you know what to do?   I know what I’d do.

Maybe somebody follows you to your car at night in the parking lot and tries to attack you.  Do you know what you’d do?  I know what I’d do.

“Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.” 
― Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do

Well rounded practical training will teach you multiple aspects of many different classical and sport systems, so that you can start to feel comfortable doing something, anything when you absolutely have to protect your well-being.  Having the skills to react appropriately in a threatening situation and the confidence to know that you could defend against that threat should be a high priority for every woman.   In some cases, a confident demeanor can actually discourage a would-be attacker.

“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.” - Miyamoto Musashi from The Book of Five Rings

Fast forward more than 10 years after my scary experience, the requisite skills for adequately defending myself embedded in the fiber of my being.  I was again walking on the streets of New York when yet another homeless man appeared and began to get very close.  I kept my stride confident and readied my body for an offensive or defensive move as the situation dictated.  There are some scenarios when it is absolutely necessary to strike first in order to protect your well-being.  I went so far as to plan an offensive move that would be quick and leave him on the ground not knowing what happened.  I chose, however, the most peaceful approach which was to look at him with a glare that was undeniably intolerant of his presence.  He looked at me with what I think was fear and immediately said, “I’m going to leave now.”   I responded, “That’s a very good idea.”  He then ran away from me and I was safe.

Without the right mental and physical training you could needlessly become a helpless victim.   Run, don't walk to the nearest dojo and begin your journey to a more confident and healthy you. 

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.” – Bruce Lee

 

Training at Boulder Karate in Boulder, CO

Training at Balanced Martial Arts in Eastchester, NY